A Good and Beautiful Life:Letter to God Soul Exercise

Author:James Bryan Smith

Dear: God,

 The life I want most for myself is a life that is just like the world feels after it rains. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense,but it's the image that comes to my mind when I think about what I want my life to be like. the world after it rains(and this is from my viewpoint-others might disagree! lol ) feels fresh, clear, brand-new, and full of opportunities.  it makes me feel happy and alive and ready to try new things, to go new places, and it gives me hope that in the end, all will be okay. to me, that is a good and beautiful life, and that's the life I want most for myself.

     I want my life feel fresh and light. I can't describe it very well God, but that's one of your endless beauties. I don't have to describe it well or describe it at all! you know exactly what I mean, even if I can't find the words to bring the feelings out. I want my life to be one where I'm not...weighted down by anything. I know that no one has a carefree life, and that's not what I mean. I don't want to go through life...dragging something behind me, carrying it everywhere I go, getting so focused on it that I don't and/or can't focus on anything else. I want my life to be light, fresh...the way the world feels after it rains: cool, clear, and unburdened. 

     the world after it rains always make me feel like there so many opportunities out there and it gives me this...desire to want to do new things, go new places, experience new things,etc. I want that to be part of my life. I want my life to be one that reflects not being unwilling to try new things, to do something despite it being tough or scary, or brand new. I know that right now, I'm not very good at living my life this way, but I am trying God. I'm going to China, which will be a new experience in so many ways, and just as scary as it is exciting.I'm trying to be more outgoing, and I'm even trying to be a leader,despite the fact that no one ever gives me a chance.I want to be a leader, I want to make a difference in people's lives. the world after it rains, gives a feeling of peace and joy, and i want my life to be like that, peaceful and joyful and also help other people feel the same way. 

as materialistic as this sounds, a good and beautiful life to me also includes traveling. I want a life where I am a cosmopolitan, a world traveler, going to new places, experiencing new things, new and different ways of thinking, and learning to love the whole world, not just my tiny little part of it. I want that, even if its not a career that allows me to travel, but if traveling is a real and big part of my life. sometimes, I've thought about just getting a secretary/assistant job somewhere, and living in a small apartment, and saving up money to go on vacation for 3 weeks or so to a city, or country,etc. long shot, I know. I've also thought about doing lots of short term missions. its why i love the TESL field so much. I know what a difference coming to the USA made for me and my brother, and I also know that feeling of being somewhere and not understanding a word of what anyone was saying or what was going on. I want to teach English to help people avoid that feeling as much as I can, and its also a field where I can easily travel, teaching English in lots of countries. but I do want traveling to be a part of my life. its the kind of life I want for myself. it does also have to do with you God. I want to love your entire creation! I want to see you in lots of countries and cultures, and see your creation in other countries, see your creation of this planet as a whole,and not just love my culture,the nature i see in my part of the planet but all of it. 

I do want love as part of the life i want for myself the most. I want to be surrounded by people that love me and care for me and aren't afraid to show it, and do show it instead of just saying it. I want to have friends that i can call at midnight if am scared or upset or feeling alone, and i want friends that feel like family. i also want romantic love and career love...I want my life to be all about love...loving You, loving myself, my family, my friends, your Children and your creation as a whole and not a part of it....I want to love it all and be content with the part you have given me to be in your story.

the soul exercise for this chapter, as you can see, was to write a letter to god that started with: dear god, the life I want most for myself is..." and then you finished it. its was basically a letter telling God what a good and beautiful life would look like to you, what you want your life to look like. the letter that I wrote was a second draft. the first one is a notebook  and I wrote it during the last devo for the summer campus ministry because they were singing and i kinda found it...a bit boring. i guess its just not the way I praise God the easiest you know? anyway, part of the reflection for this soul exercise is to share this letter with people(if you were comfortable). I am comfortable sharing this letter. this letter is me. i just sat down and started writing, and didn't let myself worry about what a letter to God is supposed to be like,or what am supposed to talk about when I talk about what I want to be like. I just wrote it from my heart, and I'm very happy with it and am so excited to share it. it did also inspire me to do a photo essay about what i want my life to be like(in other words a photo essay version of this letter). somethings are better explained with images rather than words(as a writer, I should know! lol). writing this letter was easy for me because I write letters to God all the time, but it was good to...let myself feel what I want truly want my life to be like, and what I most want it to be like. I really encourage you to try it. do it your way! write a letter, write a blog, write a list, draw a picture, sculpt something, make a podcast... just let yourself honestly feel what you want your life to truly be like, without worrying what your supposed to want it to be like or what your supposed to say in exercises like this. we might all be God's children, but we are all different, and each of our souls are different

Do You Think I'm Beautiful?: Chapter 1

Author: Angela Thomas

The title of this book makes it kinda obvious what it is about. this book is about how every woman has a desire to be beautiful, to be wanted and persued.yet we are not known as beautiful, so we hide that desire, telling ourselves that it doesnt matter. in this book, the author talks about her life long belief that she wasnt beautiful yet having a deep desire to be beautiful. It is a christian-based book because she talks about how God is The One, The Prince,etc that pursues us, and wants us and knows that we are beautiful.
    My whole life, I have not believed that I am beautiful. no guy has ever told me I am beautiful, has never asked me out, wanted me,etc. on page 2, in the first section of the chapter, the author writes: "Don't get the wrong impression; no one has ever called me ugly,and no one ever laughed in my face.It's just that no one ever noticed." this is exactly the way I feel. so many times during this chapter, it is like she took my emotions and put them into words. things that I am feeling but could not put into words, she put into words. like her, no one has ever really made fun of me of me for how I look(that am aware of), no one has ever told me I am ugly, or not pretty or not beautiful. but no one has ever come up to me, and made me feel special, beautiful. I'm not noticed. people dont really notice when I dress up, or if they do they dont say anything. when I go to Southern Hills, I try to dress up a bit, sometimes wear make-up, get my hair done, and...they dont notice. I know this sounds like superficial beautiful, and part of it is, I would be lying if I said it wasnt. but it's about feeling that I am wanted, and to be known as beautiful, and be pursued. feel special. they dont make me feel special, and they dont make me feel unspecial. they dont notice. a bit further down the page, the author wrote: " I eventually realized that if I couldnt appeal to their visual senses, I could make people laugh and be fun enough to appeal to their hearts." once again, she put words to my emotions.  In my main blog( the garden one)I write all the time that I dont understand why no guy ever likes me as more than a friend if I make them laugh, and they think am smart and funny, and like spending time with me,etc. what the author wrote makes sense to me. I know am not beautiful, and so I try to make up for it by being funny, kind, nice, friendly, fun to be around,etc. and I hope and pray that this will be enough for guys, but so far, it hasnt been enough for any of them. well, enough to love being my friend but not enough to even give me a chance as more than a friend. think am exagerating? well, let's see. Trevor and I got along good, we got each other's sense of humor, we talked easily, I made him laugh,etc and I wasnt good enough for him. Brent...same thing; we got along, we were good friends, we could talk about anything and I am convinced that my sense of humor is rubbing off on him a  bit, and...once again, I wasnt good enough. and last but not least, there is Dan. the guy I am crazy to pieces about. the guy that I would do just about anything for. we get along really good, I make him laugh all the time(seriously, all the time. he laughs at everything I say), I encourage him, I support him, and I even pray for him every single day. he even seems to like my relationship with Jesus and for some reason I seem to help him see/think about things in a different way. and..I'm still not good enough. I try so hard to make up for my lack of beautiful, and it is never ever enough. I try to appeal to their hearts, and while it makes them love me as a friend, it is never enough to even give me a chance as more than a friend.
people say that you dont need other people telling you your beautiful to know that you are, and while I know that's true, it still doesnt help. the author wrote it better than I could: "if I were really pretty, I reasoned,then someone besides my father would notice. but no one ever did."(page 3). this speaks for itself. for me, that someone is a guy. if i am such a great person, and if i am supposedly beautiful, then why doesnt a guy ever give me  a chance to be more than a friend? they are all so sure that I'm not the one for them, and maybe its because I am not beautiful. that's a truth that  I hear in my head and feel in my heart. and so far...no one has ever proven me wrong.
I'm sure you have started to see the heart of the matter. this is about being able to believe and to feel that I am beautiful. and as I've said earlier, its not that people have put me down, but its that they dont notice or care enough to notice.
I love the way the author used the story of Cinderella to describe this and make it easier to explain and understand. she gives the highlights of the story and then she says:

"now tell me, when you think of yoursef in this story,which character do you allow yourself to become?where are you standing at the ball? i would love it if you thought of yourself as Cinderealla.i have tried on those slippers but have never been able to bring mysef to believe that i shoud be dancing in her shoes.i have never thought of myself as a stepsister or the evil stepmother either.somehow, i have always seen myself as one of the faceless in the crowd.one of the girls from the kingdom who gave it her best shot,spend days optimistically preparing for the ball, splurged on the dress and the hair,and anxiously arrived with butterflies in her stomach, only to stand around with the other hopefuls,make small talk, smile politely, groove to the music, and remain unnoticed."(page 5).

I can imagine all my friends who are girls as Cinderella so easily. abigail, anne, anna, ellen, taylor, cambria... and I can super easily picture my friend Brent as the prince. mainly because, like prince charming, he turned down every girl that came up to him, wanting him to give her a chance. but me? where do I see millie? I see me as one of the nameless, faceless girls who you can see in the background, but that's it. and you dont care enough to wonder. so am not the evil stepsisters, but am not Cinderella either. that's my reality: standing in the background, unnoticed, watching Cinderella. I've "...stopped dressing up or anticipating the ball, deciding its better to stay home than to hope again and be disappointed."(page 6).

the world doesnt help either. it seems like all I hear from my friends whom I love and whom have good intations, but who in so many words say that I shouldnt feel this way. the author wrote on page 7: "...afraid that longings are sin..." this is basically what I hear from my friends. I shouldnt want to have a relationship. ast year, during study abroad, we were in france and some of the girls went out to this restaurant to eat dinner and we got to talking about some of the guys, and this one guy came up( i wont mention names) and one of the girs said that she knew that he wanted marriage really bad and that she felt that when a guy wants it that bad, its problaly not gonna happen. i remenber this because...i want marriage really bad, and i dont understand it when people tell me that what is keeping me from getting it is wanting it. i dont care how she meant it or what she meant, i still get a bit mad when i think about that and no one will ever convince me that wanting marriage so bad, wanting a guy,etc is what is keeping me from getting it or that as soon as I stop wanting it it will happen. when Dan rejected me, I couldnt trust mysef to drive back from Southern Hills, so I got a ride from Anne, and we talked for a bit before she dropped me off, and I know her heart was in the right place, but it was basically a lecture on why I shouldnt want and be looking for a relationship. I was basically in a position where I had to and was defending my desires, and i dont think that's a good thing when you put someone in the position of having to justify how they feel.

on page 8, the author wrote about eating with a friend once and her friend asked to move tables because she could feel people staring at her because she was so pretty. the author wrote: "athough it is painfully real for her,it is no exaggeration to say I cannot imagine her struggle. you see, I have always assumed that no one is looking."   Anne told me while we were talking about how she is in a relationship but she has to work hard at letting hersef trust him and she's not sure if she'll ever be able to marry him, and i know it's a problem for her, but all I can think of is that at least she HAS THE DAMM OPTION OF MARRYING SOMEONE!! I DONT, AND I NEVER WILL!!ITS LIKE COMPLAINING TO A HOMELESS PERSON HOW YOU'RE ARE STRESSED OUT BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY A BIGGER HOUSE! WHY WOULD YOU TALK TO THEM ABOUT THAT, KNOWING THEY DONT HAVE A HOME PERIOD! so i can really relate to the above quote. i've felt it so many times. i do everytime Brent acts like he understands my issues and hurt over never having been asked out, having been kissed or anything. its not the same because he has always been  the prince at ball, turning down all the girls. meanwhile, i have always been one of the faceless girls at the ball. 

there are so many quotes in this chapter that came right out of my heart it seems. but this entry is always a mile long, so I'll end it with saying that the author talked at the end of the chapter how at some point she could not keep pretending that being beautiful did not matter to her, that being noticed wasnt important. she stopped prentending and turned to God, she asked God all those questions she had been hiding deep, the same questions all women have inside: "Who will fight for me? who will be my hero? who will call me beautiful?" (page 16). God answered her, saying to put it short, that He would. I like that idea, but to be honest, I'm not there yet. I want a guy to want me, and say that am special, that he knows I'm beautiful. i want a guy to tell me that I'm Cinderella.or at least his Cinderella. its what I have wanted my whole life. its a big leap to truly feel, belief, and live that God is that Prince. how do I do that? and what difference would it make?would it make a difference?

They Like Jesus But Not The Church: Introduction

Author: Dan Kimball

I've been having some issues with the campus ministry at Southern Hills lately, and so I went looking on amazon.com for books that talk about thinking about leaving  church, and sadly there weren't all that many, but this was one of the few that I found. the topic isnt exactly what I was looking for, but it talks about how emerging generations are not going to church and/or leaving church. its not that they hate Jesus; the opposite, they love Jesus, they respect Him, and are very much open to talking about Him; they just don't like church.  

I read the introduction, which gives an insight into this topic. obviously, it introduces it. :) anyway, I really liked this introduction and it really made me realize that this is a good book for me to read because in many ways, I am part of that emerging generation. I LOVE Jesus, and God, and am happy to learn about Him, have a relationship with Him,etc but church? as much as I like going, I don't...feel like its necessary. in fact, I didn't start going to church until fall of sophomore year. my main reason for loving it is because a lot of my friends attend southern hills, and I like spending time with them.  still, I dont feel like church is doing anything for me. they don't give me chances to be a leader, they don't pursue community with me(in fact I don't get acknowledged as much as other people) and it makes me wonder why the heck I am there.

the author starts the book out by telling a story of when he was talking to a group of about 500 pastors at an evangelican conference/meeting. he writes:

"i built a case for our need to think of missionaries not only as those you send overseas somewhere but also as ourselves here in our emerging culture in our own towns and cities. i then pleaded with the pastors to consider how we might spend our time and how our lives might change if we saw ourselves as missionaries."(page 12).

further down the page, 1-2 pararaphs later, the author writes that instead of staying in the church office all day, all week, he holds meetings and things on Mondays and Tuesdays at the church office, and then on Wednesdays he goes to a coffeehouse to study for the weekend sermon, and then on Thursdays he goes to another coffeehouse where he holds meetings with people instead of at the church office. following this he writes:

"I explained that I like going to these coffehouses because I find myself engaging in conversations with non-christians, primarily in their twenties,who work there or regularly hang out there.and i shared how i dont just walk up to strangers but how instead,over  a period of time, i get to know the coffeehouse workers and regulars."(page 12).

surprisingly, these evangelical pastors were not very receptive of this message. some got very defensive and some even got mad. they seemed to think that their job was to stay in the church and attend to their flock,and that non-Christians should come to them. i so dont agree with that because Jesus did not just sit in the synagogue, teaching those who were already there and then waited for people to come to Him. no, He went to them, and so should we. anyways, what really struck me about this is two things. I really liked the idea of thinking of ourselves as missionaries, that missionaries aren't just those people that go to other countries to minister to people, to help them see Jesus through them, or who get a missions degree. maybe that is right, but maybe, there's more to being missional than that. maybe we are all missionaries who help people get to know Jesus,and build relationships with them. and maybe, like the author says, we can do that in our own towns and cities. I think that is so true. missionaries are expected to build relationships with people, to not force Jesus on them but to love them and help them to see Jesus through them. we don't have to go overseas to do that, ad we don't need to have a degree in it to do that , although we seem to think so. it really makes me re-think my perception of what a missionary is and how you can do that.

the second thing that struck me about this is kinda silly, but I can relate to him when he said that he gets to know the workers and regulars in the coffeehouses but that kinda happens to me. I'm a creature of habit, so I tend to go to the same restaurants, salon, etc a lot, so I become familiar with the people who work there, although I don't get into conversations with them like he does, I do become familiar with them and them with me, so I thought it was kinda cool that to a greater extend he does the same thing. 

"some people aren't even comfortable saying they are a Christian but come up with new terms  such as 'Christ follower' to avoid negative and distorted associations."(page 15).

this struck out to me because I do tend to have a hard time with calling myself a Christian, and I do prefer to think of myself as a Christ follower. i am not sure if I totally agree with this; some people think that there is a difference between being a christian and being a Christ follower, and that being a christian doesn't make you a Christ follower. it did however, make me realize that there is a grain of truth to what he said. 

I like that he said that "the American church is not above what happened in Europe"(page 15).(the pretty much abandonment of their great cathedrals. he said that most of them are pretty much empty on Sunday mornings and that they are more for tourists than worship, which i can testify to. i saw a cathedral in Scotland that was being used as a restaurant, and another one that was under heavy construction. so i did see that they were tourist attractions more than the worship buildings they were built to be). he talked about church elders and officials are for the most part unaware of ignoring this problem of emerging generations leaving church because they tend to focus more on the above 35 generation, and that as long as they see some young people at church, they assume everything is fine. with so many mega-churches and huge churches, it doesn't seem like American is headed for Europe's fate. what the author said about this really struck me. he said that Europe never would have predicted this would happen to them either, yet it did. i agree. i don't think that ignoring this growing problem is going to help anything. i think that a lot of young people do leave church because there is isn't a lot for people in their 20s, and for other reasons. after campus ministry for example at southern hills, there is one class for singles in their 20s but other that that there is pretty much nothing for people in their 20s. and unless we want our buildings to end up as tourist attractions, we need to deal with this problem.I think that thinking that something can't happen to us is a very human re-action, and so its natural to assume that churches might have been...abandoned in europe, but that doesnt mean its going to happen here in america. am not sure whether it will or it wont, but i think that like the author says, it needs to be dealt with.and even if a church has lots of young people in it, that doesn't mean that these young people wont leave like the author says, or that they are doing more than just sitting in the pew, and nothing more.

on page 19, the author wrote: " statisics and surveys can be helpful, but they miss the heart. you don't see people's faces and expressions in statistics. you don't hear their stories, and you don't hear the emotion in their voices." this really struck me because as a single girl, I am a statistic, and people telling me that am not alone, that there are plenty of other single people out there is quoting staticstis in a way, and that doesnt help me feel any better. the author is making the point that knowing the numbers of young people that leave, that don't go to church,etc is not the same as talking to these people, hearing what they have to say. i sometimes feel like that, that people just quote numbers at me, that they tell me there are othe single girls, that am not the only one who sometimes feels alone,etc but that's not listening to me you know? that is quoting numbers at me; they are missing my heart. i know its a stretch, but its how i can relate to this quote. i prefer stories to numbers any day of the week as anyone that knows me could tell you, so it makes sense to me that dealing with the problem is not knowing how many young people there are in your church, how many leave, how many come but dont get involved,etc. that's a way to become aware of the problem, but keeping your eye on the numbers does nothing. we need to hear their stories, their heart.

i wrote earlier that I really liked the author's 'call' for us to think of ourselves as missionaries and not just those who go overseas. that's the thing that really stuck out to me in this introduction, and it does change the way you view the way you deal and relate to people. in the last section of the introduction, he wrote:

"exciting things are happening in some churches in which hundreds and even thounsands of people from emerging generations are being introduced to Jesus and becoming disciples. having talked with many of the church leaders whose churches are seeing this great response, I've learned that the key thing is that they see themselves as misionaries and their churches as missional. by missional i mean that these churches dont just have an evangelism program but see their church as a mission. these churches are doing far more than just putting on concerts or hoping  younger people will come to their church by adding candles, couches, and coffee..."(page 21).

I really like this because it makes me excited for some reason to think about churches seeing that being misional is not just another ministry but who they are. jesus wasnt just doing a missional ministry, he was being missional, and i am starting to believe that there is a difference.

on page 20, the author put some bullet points to explain his use of the word "missional" and they were all awesome but these two were my favorites:

• being missional means that we understand we don't "bring Jesus"to people but that we realize Jesus is active in culture and we join Him in what He is doing.
• I love this because I totally agree. Jesus is everywhere, and being missional is not bringing Jesus to people because He is already there. its helping people to see Him. 
• being missional means we serve our communities, and that we build relationships with the people in them, rather than seeing them as evangelistic targets.
• sometimes at the campus ministry i just feel like i am another number, another body that is there, and not a part of it. i think that we need to learn that is not about  numbers but about building relationships with them; people are not targets.

this introduction was good and it makes me so excited for the rest of the book. it makes me glad to know that I'm not alone in loving Jesus but not being so hot on church. plus, it's giving me some good insights that I never would have thought of.

The Good and Beautiful Life: Chapter 1

Author: James Byran Smith

Chapter 1 of "The Good and Beautiful Life" is also called The Good and Beautiful Life. In this first chapter he talks about what makes a good and beautiful life. the main "thing" you could call it, in this book is narratives or "stories" that influence and/or determine our beliefs/behavior.
  One of the things that he said towards the beginning of the chapter really stuck with me:  "no one seeks a dull,lifeless, boring,meaningless life. I have never met a person whose goal was to ruin his or her life"(page 19).  what he's saying is that everyone is seeking happiness. every person on the planet wants to be happy. I really was struck by this, and I think it is true. no one really wants to be upset or have a miserable life. even when they do, it is often because of something they did or that happened that has made them believe they dont deserve to or shouldnt be happy. like he said, no one sets our to purposely become a ruthless businessman with no heart, or to become the kind of person who only cares about himself and no one else. they all are trying to attain happiness, to have a good and beautiful life. I like this because its not something I really thought about. its hard to wrap your mind around the concept that everyone is searching for happiness. its hard to believe that the person who kills someone is searching for happiness, or that the people that get drunk every night are searching for happiness. but the truth is that they are searching for happiness. they are just following the wrong narrative.
     He opens the chapter with a story about this patient at a retirement center that he was a chaplain intern at   one summer when he was in college.the patient's name was Ben,and unlike all the other people there he was not in a good mood, he didnt get visitors,etc. one day Ben asked to talk to him[the author] and they did talk, but he couldnt figure out why Ben wanted to talk to him. after many sessions, Ben finally told him. it seemed that Ben had lived a life that wasnt very good. He was a millionare but he was so busy working and chasing the dream that he didnt focus on anything else. he was married three times and all filed for divorce either because of neglectement or because of one of his affairs. his daugter refuses to talk to him. Ben said: "I suppose you could say that I ruined my life, because today I have nothing really. oh, I still have a lot of money. i still have more money than I could ever spend. but that brings me no joy.I sit here, each day, waiting to die.I have nothing but bad memories. I cared about no one in my life,and now no one cares about me.you,young man, are all i have."(page 19). I remeber reading this, and being especially struck by the last line. I dont want to end up like that. and Ben didnt either. He didnt want to end up alone, filled with regret, with no one who cared about him. like the author says, he simply followed the wrong narrative about what will bring happiness. I dont want to end up like Ben. I want to end up happy with myself, my life, how i lived and treated others. i want to end up with lots of people who care about me in my life, who are happy to know me and to be in my life. Ben followed the narrative that says that in order to be happy you must be wealthy, successful, and look out for yourself, put yourself first. it didnt work for Ben, and going by all the messed up celebrities, it doesnt work at all.
   however, something that struck me while reading this chapter was that it wasnt the success itself that led Ben to where he was, but how he chose to live his life. towards the end of the chapter, smith tells us about another person, who like Ben was in his late years and had been ultra successful. his name is John wooden and he was a really successful pro basketball coach. he had won 10 NCAA championships,and his team once had a streak of 88 straight winning games.so this coach had been just as successful as Ben(but Ben had success as  a business person) but his life turned out differently. he had players calling him once a week to tell him that they loved him and asking him for his advice in all kinds of different ways in life. He married young and was faithful and devoted to his wife for 53 years until she died. he said that he had lived a good life, and had watched kids and grandchildren grow but he was now looking forward to going to be with Jesus. when smith asked him what the secret to his life was, the coach said that in 1935 he made up his mind to live by a set of principles and he stuck to them: "...they are based on the bible and the teachings of Jesus.Principles like courage and honesty and hard work,character and loyalty,and virtue and honor-these are what constitute a good life"(page 25). after reading about this coach, I was struck by the differences of the places where these two successful men(they were close in age so they lived through most of the same world events)had ended up. both were successful and wealthy, yet one based his life on the narrative that happiness comes from that success, from looking after yourself and no one else. the other had based his life on a narrative that was based on Jesus. the first ended up a lonely man, with no one who cared about him, and the other ended up a happy man with family and friends and people who admired and respected him.
    i think, and this is strictly my opinion, that its important to notice that the success itself was not what determined how they ended up. I think its important to notice this because sometimes it feels like if you want to be successful,if you want to have a really good job, or be able to go on nice vacations, or buy a summer house,etc then you are being selfish and greedy and so we are not supposed to want to be successful. i think that its okay to want those things, as long as we keep in mind that they are not our narrative for happines, and so our lives should not be shaped around them, but around the narrative of Jesus.most of my friends might disagree with me, but that is my opinion. if you want to be successful and have a lot of money, but you know that doesnt bring you happiness and you based ur life around the teachings of jesus, and you invest in friendships and relationships, in your family, and you put god first, then I think that you will end up like john.however, if you base ur life on ur wanting that success, and you dont invest in God, in relationships,in people,then ur gonna be like Ben. not right away, because as smith says "it takes a long time to ruin a life"(page 20), but in the end, u will find yourself alone,with only the intern chaplian to care about you.(if you want to hear how Ben's story ends up following his meetings with smith, then read the book! lol) again, am problaly wrong but it makes sense to me that success itself isnt wrong, but what importance we place on it, whether we make it our narrative to live our life.
   the main thing i got out of this chapter is that we are all searching for happiness, so that's common. but we each follow a narrative that we think or are told by the world will lead to happiness. and not all narratives are right. in fact, none of those narratives are right except the narrative that follows Jesus. i think that i learned that a good and beautiful life is following God, and being with Him.no matter what.
  one of the paragraphs that smith wrote towards the end of the chapter really stuck with me:

we cannot find happiness or joy apart from a life of obedience to the teachings of Jesus. C.S. Lewis wrote: "God cannot gives us a happiness and peace apart from Himself,because it is not there. there is no such thing." God is not being stingy  and withholding joy apart from our obedience; there simply is no joy apart from a life with and for God."God,please give me happiness and peace," we plead, "but let me also live my life as I please." and God answers, "I cannot give you that. you  are asking for something that does not exist." (page 300).

I like this paragraph because sometimes, following God is...painful and hard for me. I refuse to be content with what He wants for me, like being single, and having the guy i'm crazy about turn me down.I dont want to be single, and I want this guy to care about me the same way i care about him, but its not what God wants, and I'm thus in this place where I have chosen to follow God, yet i'm also not wanting to follow Him. this pararagraph tells me that its not that God wants me to follow him, to serve His every wish and command, but that He wants to give me a good and beautiful life, and the only way He can do that is if I am with Him, following Him,obeying Him; He cant do it any other way because He IS a good and beautiful life.

I'm gonna close this post with some sayings/quotes from this chapter that I truly fell in love with. in fact I'm gonna paint them on canvases and put them up in my house/apartment. 

1. "if the map does not agree with the ground, the map is wrong. the ground is never wrong"(page 29). this was said by a platoon sergeant who was a veteran to a young liutenant that was a friend of the author's. the lietenant and the sergeant were doing a field exersice and the lietenant said that the map said there was supposed to be a hill, but the hill wasnt there, and the sergeant said the above quote. now,i could explain why i love this, but its kinda self explanatory. the "map" is the narrative, the beliefs which we base our lives on, and "ground" is life. if your narrative doesnt agree with life, then the narrative is wrong. a lot of our narratives about happiness(and other things)dont agree with life. we need to change our maps. 
2. "earn the right to be proud and confident"(page 26). this was said by john wooden, the basketball coach I mentioned earlier in the post. this was something he would say to his players a lot, along with other principles/mottos. this was another difference between Ben and John. john did more than coach his players; he took an interest in them as people, he coached them in basketball and in life. Ben never used his status to reach others, to help them. I LOVE this saying because it is saying that you can be confident and proud of yourself, of your accomplishments, of your life,etc but you have to work to be able to have that right. and not just at the material things but in the spiritual ways, the person ways,etc. 

this chapter was so good! I took away from it that a good and beautiful life is following Jesus, on living my life based on HIS narrative. that my map needs to be based on Jesus.

The Good and Beautiful Life: Introduction

Author: James Bryan Smith

This book is the second in a series. the first is called "the good and beautiful God", and the third is called "the good and beautiful community." I first got introduced to this series through my lifegroup at southern hills church of christ this summer. there are only two lifegroups for the summer, a buy lifegroup and a girl lifegroup,but both groups are reading "the good and beautiful God." I started reading it, and I liked it. It is a good book that tells us all the false narratives that we believe about God, and how these narratives affects how we view God. it also tells us the jesus narrative, how Jesus viewed God, and how that is the true God we need focus on and the way we need to see Him. still, as much as I'm liking the book,its not...anything new to me. I know that sounds vain, but its the truth. I know God is generous, I know God is love, I know God is trustworthy,etc.I gues what I'm saying is that while I'm liking this book and the things he is saying, it's not really where I am in my life right now; what I am focusing on in my life right now. with this in mind, I saw that the second book was called "the Good and Beautiful Life" and that seemed much more in line with where I am in my life right now. I know how beautiful God is and(even though its hard to believe)how much He loves me. I just need to know how to take that, and apply it to my life. How does all this, all that God is showing me, teaching me,all the good quotes, scripture verses,thoughts,etc apply to my life?what do I do with all this? how do I apply God and my faith to my life? I know that doesnt make much sense, but its hard to describe. so I went to amazon.com and looked up the second book. thanks to amazon's "look inside the book" i was able to see the table of contents, and all the chapters seemed to be in line with how to put God into your life, how to live your life with God, how He wants us to live our lives.I also read the first page of the introduction, and I just fell in love with it. there was this amazing quote by John Wesley, and I need to frame that quote and  put it all over my house because it's so good and it does such a good job of saying  why all this is worth it, and how God wants our lives to be, and how our lives can be. so I bought the book, and I'm very excited. I was a bit worried that since I havent finished the first one that this one wouldnt make any sense, but its not like that at all. even though the books are meant to be read in order, you dont have to. I can see how one leads to the other, but you dont have to read one before reading the other. I am very excited to read this book and the introduction alone helped me to put into words and be able to see what I want.

The quote by John Wesley that I so am in love with is below.

 the content of John Wesley saying this is a man came up to him one day and said: "all is dark;my thoughts are lost.but I hear that you preach to a great number of people every night and morning. pray, what wold you do with them?whither would you lead them?what religion do you preach?what is this good for?

"you ask, what would I do with them?I would make them virtuous and happy,easy in themselves, and useful to others.whither would i lead them?to heaven, to god the judge, the lover of all,and to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant.what religion do I preach?the religion of love. the law of kindness brought to light by the gospel. what is this good for?to make all who receive it enjoy God and themselves, to make them like God, lovers of all,contented in their lives, and crying out at their death,in calm assurance, "O grave where is thy victory!thanks be to God, who giveth me victory,through my Lord Jesus Christ." (page 9)

I love this entire quote, especially the highlighted parts. I want to be like that. I want to be the kind of person who enjoys God, who enjoys herself,and I want to be happy and useful to others. this is exactly what i want. in this answer to this man who knows how long ago,he is also putting to words what I want my life to be like, happy, virtous, useful to myself and to others,etc.

the last paragraph of the introduction also was speaking directly to me it seemed like:

"I encourage you to proceed with hope and certainty that you are engaged in something that can make a positive difference in your life. I am confident that God,who has begun a good work in you, will bring it to completion. so move forward with the assurance that you can and will be change, and as you change, those around you will see it and be inspired. may God change your mind,heart and life,and use you to change the world."(page 14)

the highlighted part was the one that spoke to me the most. I want my life to change, and its a new thought that God created me, and He's not just going to abandon me. He's going to keep working with me and in me.

Like I said, I am very excited about this book, and I do think that its going to be a really good starting place to change my life.