Scene 1: Holy Confidence
"If you learn the lesson God is trying to teach you, no matter how
things turn out, you have not failed. In fact, you cannot fail" (page
22). When I first read this, one of my first thoughts was how do you
know what lesson God is trying to teach you? This is one thing I
always think about and ask myself. I hear people saying "follow God's
will", "do what God asks you to do", etc. and I agree with that, we
should listen and obey God. But how do you know what He is telling
you? How do you know? I guess it's why I do not really like to say for
sure that this is "God's will" for me or that "God wants me to do
this…" because I just do not know. And also, it seems a
little…egotistic for lack of a better word to say I know what God is
thinking or what His plans are. But setting all that side, how am I
supposed to know what lesson God is trying to teach me? I wish someone
could tell me that. It's not like God speaks in a audible voice right?
How do you know the difference between what God is telling you and
what you think He is telling you? Another thing that just came to my
mind is this says learning God's lesson for you is the top thing. If
you learn that, if you achieve that, then you have not failed. Even if
you did not accomplish your goal, you still have not failed. Our
society is so driven by winning and achievieving this or accomplishing
that, that we often feel if we don't accomplish our goal, then we have
failed. For example, I have always been hesitant about asking people
for help. Coming here to China, I've had to get over that to a certain
extent. I ask my friends Lina, Gina or Raibo for help all the time.
Actually, a lot of the time. Maybe Gods lesson, or one of them, is
for me to lean that. To learn to ask people for help, and not just
until I have no other choice and am desperate. If that is God's lesson
for my time in China, then by learning it, have not failed. Sure, I
have not baptized anyone or given lots of bible studies or anything.
Doesn't mean I have failed.
"One key to fulfilling your destiny is recognizing what season you are
in" (page 24). The author in this chapter talks about seasons in our
lives, and how in order to fulfill your divine destiny, you have to
recognize what season you are in. if you don't, the author says, you
will experience frustration and maybe even anger and despair. I have
heard something similar to this all the time at ACU. Usually, about
singleness. The season of singleness. I have come to believe that for
me, it's not a season but a lifetime, but I do agree with the author
and I think he makes a good point here. Understanding what season you
are in is important. Maybe you are in a season where you are supposed
to wait. Maybe you are in a season where you are learning to be
confident in yourself and to ask people for help. If you recognize
that, then you won't experience as much frustration. "One of the
biggest mistakes we make is focusing all our energy on the next season
of life instead of enjoying the season we're in" (page 24). This is SO
true! We spend so much time focusing on the future, on what is coming,
that we tend to ignore the present. That is something that I always
struggle with. I am a planner; I like to have a plan. My plan can
change, I am flexible like that, but I have to have my plan. As a
planner, I think about things that are coming, that I have to do, and
I make a plan as to how to do them, what I have to do, etc. Of
course, this leads to the problem of I am always focusing on what is
to come, what is next, on future. Right now, I am in China, and I am
going home next month, and I have to do a lot of planning for that and
I have to save money for furniture and books and my trip to Chicago.
So I am trying to balance being here and planning for going home. I am
saving as much money as I can, but at the same time I am trying to not
give up traveling or eating at a restaurant that is price-y, simply to
save money. And I think that is what the author is saying. When we
are single, we long to be married. When we are married, we long to
have children…when we are high school students we long to go to
college, when we get to college we long for grad school, when we are
in grad school, we long for a doctorate, etc. we always look to the
season that is ahead. I want to change that. I want to start enjoying
and living in the season I am in, yet always think about the season
that is coming.
"Your current frustration will be cause for future celebration if you
hang in there long enough" (page 25). This caught my eye because it is
something that I think to myself every once in a while, especially
since I've been in China. Sometimes, it is worth it for things to go
wrong because when they are finally fixed, you appreciate it so much
more. I did not have hot water in my apartment for the first month or
so that I was in China. It was miserable and frustrating and
worrisome. Yet when they finally fixed it-around October- it was so
great! I was so excited and so relieved and even now, every time I
take a nice hot shower, and I feel lucky and so glad to have hot
water. So it almost makes it worth it because I appreciate it so much
more.
"We so quickly forget the central fact of our faith: without a
crucifixion there is no resurrection"(page 26). In this section, the
author talks about divine delays. Sometimes what seems to us to be a
disadvantage, a disappointment, is really a divine delay. God has
something planned for us, but not yet, or maybe He has to stop a plan
or a dream of ours in order to give is His plan, His dream. What I
liked about this quote is that it is saying that in order for the
resurrection to have happened, Jesus needed to have died by
crucifixion. Before dawn, there is darkness. Sometimes, in order for
something good and beautiful to happen, something sad and painful has
to happen first.
What I got out of this book so far is how our disadvantages can be
advantages. I am doing an exercise based on this idea. I made a
chapter and I wrote on one column all my disadvantages, weaknesses,
etc. and on the other column I wrote the good that came out of it. I
also have made a second chart, with the same idea but instead of
disadvantages I listed decisions I made on a whim. It's not really
hard, but it does take some thought, and there are still a few
disadvantages that I cannot think of what good has come out of them.
still, I like this exercise and it makes me feel…good. Sort of like a
few puzzle pieces of the puzzle that is me have come together you
know?
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